Conversations between a husband and wife after the honeymoon phase could sometimes go like this...
Husband: the problem I have with you is selfishness
Wife: I could say the same about you. How could you call me selfish after all I’ve done for you? Ask people okay, I’m very giving and selfless 💁🏾‍♀️..
Husband: Yea right! 
Alright.. maybe yours isn’t that way but mine is super close 😅

So, confession time.. I have a natural instinct to look out for myself. Some would argue that it’s healthy but most times it is out of selfishness, not true love. 
True love is borne out of pain and my affinity for pain used to be quite low. 
After a devastating experience of pain, the capacity to love or hate increases. I chose love which requires forgiveness and it took grace and lots of different stages of healing and mind detox. 

Anyway, for a long time I had told myself that I was selfless and giving. I didn’t realize that there were levels to this.. I was at level 1 and my husband was like a 10 when I married him. So, yea I have a teacher 🙌🏾😆♥️🙌🏾.

Some of us truly cling to the scripture that says love your neighbor as yourself, but the love you have for yourself is quite flawed and selfish though 🤷🏽‍♀️
Selfishness has its levels.. you might never know how selfish you are until you get married 😂😂. Marriage revealed mine and at first I struggled, but I submitted myself eventually to learning(real tough).

Anyway, let’s do a reality check..
  • Helping others from your place of comfort. Anything that is out of your comfort zone irritates you, you are selfish.
  • You don’t like to share your time or space. You are selfish. 
  • You like your things a certain way. You are selfish.
  • Secluding yourself when you have been called. You say it’s privacy but in actual fact it’s selfishness. You can’t drink from others and others can’t drink from you, it’s selfishness
  • You’re unfriendly. To you everyone is bad, you say they’ll stab you in the back but have you thought that if every one that comes your way is bad, you seem to be the constant factor. It may be you and not them. You are 🤔 selfish
  • You always want your will to be done. When other people’s opinions are picked over yours, you throw a tantrum, you seek for yours to be the ultimate one. It is your way or the highway. You are disappointed when it’s not acknowledged. My sister you are selfish.
  • You are not a good listener. You are selfish.
  • You are impatient and irritable. My brother you are selfish.
  • You get angry easily, oh boy! You are selfish.
  • When things don’t go the way you plan it, you blow up to shambles (this is me, perfectionist trait). You are selfish.
  • When you isolate your family in order to protect your own interest. You are selfish. 
I learned that if you refuse to be honest about it, you can’t see the change you desire.
Let me tell you what Christians don’t say often. Just because you go to church doesn’t mean your struggles disappear. 
Folks that are in Church are some of the “sickest” people on earth. If most of us would gladly fall at Jesus’ feet for help before raising our hands in worship, oh! what a Church that would be!

YOU and I could never be unselfish without asking to be filled with the HOLY SPIRIT. You’ll see that yesterday doesn’t cover today and today doesn’t cover tomorrow. If you prophesy from now till eternity and blast in tongues or see visions, it doesn’t remove your selfish nature, you still need to humbly ask for the Holy Spirit’s help and learn the change. Learn from those that are better than you. 

Please share and bless someone today

Kemi Gwan


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