We are still celebrating Women in Ministry and I am mostly excited about this woman, one I can confidently call Mentor. My Pastor and Pastor's wife. A woman of honor and dignity. A woman who makes me proud as a young woman. A spirit filled woman and humble to the core. She is a pharmacist and currently an Associate Professor and Dean.
Before I even begin with her, let me ask a personal question. As a woman, be honest, what drives you? I ask this question because there are many lost women driven by wind tides and struggle to find their balance in the world.
I can tell you this much, if your core is not centered on God and His word, you are going to find yourself drowning in situations.
If you depend on marriage to make you fulfilled, on the days you're at the lowest or you are in disagreement with your spouse, you will quickly find yourself LOST.
If you are single and well established, on your lowest days, you would feel empty and lonely...
So, again. what drives you as a WOMAN?
Your PAST? Your PRESENT? Or The FUTURE!
No one answer is correct or incorrect. I think it's a meddle of all three. When I look at the past, I'm tempted to say, maybe if this had happened this way, it could have been different, but then I realize soon enough that I wouldn't be the Kemi Gwan I am today. So, I revert back to acceptance mode to work with the present. Speaking of the present, the one place you and I have control over. The decisions I make right now will have an exponential effect on the future. Experience gained from my past is what helps me to sustain today. So, you see that they are intertwined.
We are the custodians of our experiences and what we choose to do with them. The relationships that God blesses you with, how do you handle them? Does an experience from the past cause you to shut the front door or occasionally peep from the window?
I remember when I met Pastor Toyin, my guards were up. Don't blame a sister, I have had my share of abuse in the ministry, most especially from Pastor's wives.
I was defensive and I think I just took offense at every thing she tried to say because I just thought she was judging me. LOL. Little did I know that majority of the problem was my own insecurities and hurt.
As women, majorly driven by our emotions, we make assumptions and conclude about the wrong things. I dare say this because I have realized that especially in marriage. We assume because it looks like this, then it's it. Examples: I greeted her, and she answered with a muffled tone. I saw her staring me down, so she doesn't like me. She's jealous of me because I am married and she's not. I am more favored than she is, so she's jealous of me. Notice the trend in all those assumptions? They focus on "ME." The problems with these assumptions is they prevent you from enjoying relationships and pure friendships.
When God started with me, this was no joke, I humbled myself. God straight up told me I am connected to her and I have to move closer to her (Pastor Toyin) to get what I need to move ahead in Ministry. I then started wondering where or how I was to start without looking like a groupie.
If you know my Pastor's wife, she is not the typical Pastor's wife. She is book-smart and an academician to the core. Actually, let me flaunt her a little (I can picture her doing this 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾). I'm talking major role model type of woman, yet she is the most humble Pastor's wife/woman I have ever encountered.
Sometimes our experiences aren't meant to make us shut the door of our hearts but to actually open it wider. I have never ever met a more secure cheerleader like her. Very grounded in herself and loves to lift others up. I realize that in order to lift others up, you must be heavily secure and I have no doubt that hers comes from the Lord and a supportive husband.
I could not possibly have started a movement about celebrating women if I had not seen it demonstrated by this woman of God. She made me believe that as women, we have each other and should look out only for the best in others. If I had given up and not let her in, being on guard and shut my heart, there would have been absolutely no growth for me and I would have remained bitter. In fact, I am glad I took the step to constantly water the relationship I have with her. I have applied this same principle to every relationship that surrounds me. I have to thank my husband for always prodding me to see things as they are when I am sometimes caught up in my emotions.
With that said, we have utmost CONTROL right now! Do something about it. Relationships don't just happen, they are worked out, watered and bred to your satisfaction.
I celebrate you Woman of God for being who you are always! I love you so much and Thank You for showing me you care about me.
Live, Love, Laugh