Wednesday, January 25, 2017

WE CELEBRATE EVERY WOMAN WHO EVER HAD TO ENDURE A HARD MARRIAGE!

Today, I celebrate my mom!
I celebrate all mothers!
I celebrate every wife!
I celebrate every growing girl!
I especially celebrate every woman who has endured marriage solely to protect herself, her children or her self image and the image of her family. 
I particularly celebrate women who have been battered and abused in their marriages at one point to another.
A moment of silence to the departed souls of women who died enduring a difficult marriage.

Many women continue to dive into marriage without sufficient understanding of what it really means. We are told that divorce rate continues to shoot up in the 21st century because women are liberated. Pause for a quick second! Is it really the liberation of women??


Let me try to show us a different angle. There is a big gap of marriage modeling between my mom's generation and mine because:
  • Women are/were not happy in their marriages. 
  • Women endured for all the wrong reasons.
  • Divorced women do not feel the need to help highlight or teach their wrongs (what they could have done better).
  • Single Parents (women) who were wronged become too embittered to find love or try again.
  • Battered and abused women will almost likely without the help of God fall victim of the same incidence and continue in that cycle of abuse.
  • Women who impatiently got married solely to avoid being part of status quo (most especially the age factor) would have made a dangerous choice.
  • Women are/were not submissive in their marriages. Women are smart, intelligent, Godly, geniuses, but not submissive. Submission is what makes marriage, marriage. You could choose to be single and never have to submit to a husband.
These are some of the problems I came up with on my own, having had to experience a bad relationship once. It is easier to make comparisons now because I know what I did differently to now be experiencing a solid marriage.

‘He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness,’ wrote Alexandre Dumas

My call is to all women to put on their counseling hats and help teach my generation not to make some of the mistakes they made. And if you did it right, you still need to counsel women about good marriages. If you have known pain, then you will know the difference when you find  happiness.

Marriage is sweet with: 
  • A Godly man! You will only need to cry yourself to sleep and wait for him to come home if he has no fear of God. A Godly man will love you. "Nuff Said." This is not a myth ladies. It is true! I compare for real.
  • A submissive wife! I learned this past Sunday from my Pastor and Mentor that if there is a PhD I must have, it better be a PhD in submission. Many women carry their titles into their homes, into their bedroom and forget what the word wife means. 
What then is Submission?? 
It is not slavery!
It is not subjugation!


“And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

Ephesians 5:33b AMPC

We are often carried away by what we want, forgetting that the men also need all those twelve things highlighted above.
If a woman is ready to get married, she must also check that she is ready to do these things above without worrying about what the man should be giving her.

My blog is to single women out there today! You don't have to endure a hard marriage ever, if you take the proper steps today. Ask your mom the hard questions. Take that step and ask her if she is/was truly happy. If she is/was indeed, you need her recipe, if she is/was not, you still need the recipe, so you don't make the same mistake.
Never assume you understand what marriage is without proper counseling and great models to help you every step of the way as you build a Godly home. 
These realities have helped me tremendously through my single motherhood and my new marriage. I am a happy well grounded woman learning to continually submit to my King every step of the way. 
Also understand, because there is no master of Love, there is no master of submission. We all just try and where we fail, God fills the gap and holds the marriage. That is the difference between a Godly marriage and one that has no God has the foundation.

You get to make the choice today! 

Live, Love, Laugh
Kaylove.
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