Wednesday, June 7, 2017

THE MIND - A POWER HOUSE

Hello there my lovelies,

I am so delighted to be blogging again after this long but short break. I thank God for the blessing and the inspiration to write at all. Special thanks to my loving husband, for always diligently reading, editing and encouraging me to do this. A big thank you to each and everyone of you for your patience and consistence, likes and comments. A special shout out to those who will read this and make an effort to forgive a hurt. A wonderful thank you to my Pastor friend who poured so much into me and helped me overcome a hurt. I am liberated and blessed to have such powerful friends and mentors in my life.

Today, I really want to talk about the power of the mind akin to forgiveness. Yes, mostly because I blog about my experiences as I grow. So enjoy!!!!! 



As humans I think our ability to forget almost anything is inevitable. It is no wonder we are liable to  experience chaos. Most of the chaos we encounter starts from a faulty mind unfortunately. 
A child is soon to forget a parent's costly sacrifice. A spouse in a moment of sadness forgets and momentarily wipes out all the good that the partner represents. An organization in a heartbeat would fire an individual for a misdemeanor, sometimes forgetting all the hard labor invested in time past. 
I often wondered about the Israelites in the Holy Book, why they forgot so easily all of the tremendous signs that God showed them. Forgetting is part of the human race and I am at a critical and interesting place of understanding this phenomenon all over again. It is great to give oneself to learning. You just never stop. 

I think our memory is like a curse that seethes through and is designed to master-- rough, tough, bad, sad, rash, harsh conditions. It is also designed to enjoy really good times, capturing flawless memoirs. However, a great time down the line can drown a good time and the mind forgets so easily a good time once shared or experienced. The mind and the memory are like stacks of experiences. No wonder it is imperative to renew the mind. 

Forgiving requires forgetting. It is not magic. It is not impossible. It is the power of the mind. Do you know you are just one decision away from letting go, or doing anything at all?
You know how your alarm rings in the morning and you make a decision to get up or not, shower and get dressed to go to work. It's like making a necessary choice to get up, though you feel like sleeping in a bit more. 

There are so many people that will require us to be generous with our forgiveness either we like it or not. I am quite an emotional person myself and I hurt when I shouldn't sometimes.... anyway.. forgiveness is a necessary practice for me. 
There are relationships, for instance...

PARENTAL: this relationship I say has the strongest bond. However, there are so many gifts and flaws in this relationship. Either in the way that you are raised or sometimes, the decisions made or enforced. Some of them are to blame for how we turned out and we are sometimes filled with anger, disappointment, frustration and even hatred. 

SPOUSAL: this relationship is one with the strongest emotion. Very thin line between love and hate, appreciation and resentment, respect and the lack of it. Living with a spouse you didn't grow up with, suggests the most challenge and sometimes these flaws lead to separations, divorces and sometimes death. 

CORDIAL: this relationship is the easiest kind. It is often based on interest or the lack of it. All the parties are responsible for the outcome. There are also many advantages and flaws in this relationships. Sometimes envy, jealousy and unwarranted competitions are seeds sown amongst these relationships, which can lead to the end. This could be a platonic friendship, a business relationship, a work related relationship and religious relationships.

These relationship types above are general examples of what we are constantly surrounded by. There are others not listed of course, like extended families, siblings and in-laws. All these relationships are vital as long as you live. You cannot avoid some type of conflict at some point in your life. The world is a relational place and so the constant abrasions are a norm.

I have had to, and still will, deal with conflicts and some of them were difficult because, honestly sometimes, the mind enjoys the hurt. It's very hard to put it to words. Your mind remembers and you decide: "there is no way I am forgiving that!" Truthfully and thankfully, every time I made the decision to forgive, it was genuine and I was free instantly. I even find that I could relate with the person without worrying about being hurt again... 


It is a choice, a decision to forget completely. Remember I stated above that the mind forgets. What you don't hold on to, you don't remember. This is practically how God forgets our sins. He forgets them and wipes them off completely. We are made to be just like Him and I am enjoying this particular attribute. Also, forgiveness is the only price we pay to obtain forgiveness from God.

Perhaps there are quite a number of decisions you need to make today. Be gracious and generous to release some folks today. I promise you, they don't need to ask before you give it. It is why it's FORE-give. It is something you should give ahead of time before you're asked. It's like foreseeing.. 

Understanding helps to forgive. 

Remembering the good helps to forgive.

The Mind is a Power House, do not waste it! 

I AM FREE!! YaaaY Me!

Live, Love, Laugh
Kemi Gwan.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

WIFEY CELEBRATES THE HUBZ


Hey there lovelies!

Today, we are going to do something very different. Well, not so different from what I used to do here... Anyway, I am going to spend my time admiring the husband the Lord gave to me. No, it's not Valentine's but I am going to take time loving the numerous reasons why John was the chosen one and why that matters every single minute of my life. 

He probably doesn't even know that I took a pause at some point yesterday in deep thought just admitting how much of a genius I married. His genius is almost always masked under his humility, so it is the hardest thing to see until you hear him speak. Which is actually one of the things that attracted and endeared me to him. His wisdom is of no class (I am not blowing things out of proportion). His kindness is second to none. His patience is my nemesis, literally. Haha


We both can be perfectionists but his leniency teaches me everyday to become a better person and to be more selfless as I grow. My husband is a Computer guru(I can't stand coding), but he is passionate about it. It is a blessing to watch him soar higher in his career. He knows what He wants and I watch how He accomplishes these things. With my help as his partner, I can only hope to make it a smooth process.

I mean as much as I can be a woman of my own, I can't help but wonder what He actually sees in me. You know that 'I can do bad all by myself' euphoria that we often get, well sometimes I get in my single motherhood zone and even take for granted the need for a partner. You know to be honest, it feels like all of a sudden, I am aware of this power house that lives with me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him but this awareness is what helps a woman genuinely RESPECT her husband. I am dancing in excitement because I know I needed this one.🙈

I am a creative camera in this moment capturing this appreciation I feel and I just must pen this one. There are many ways I can demonstrate this to my hubby of course, but the writer in me can't help but be intrigued by the art of the moment. Nostalgic to say the least.

Still on the hubz though. One of his gifts is teaching. I am yet to meet anyone as sound as my husband when he teaches. Our children benefit from this gift and of course when I humble myself, I always learn from it... 😂😂🤣🤣. He always seems to mean well for me of course, after all, you represent the Gwan family; He says! I guess you can already picture the agree to disagree moments. Thankfully I never have to deal with violence with my hubby. Hmmmmn... I went there 😜🙊.

(Hehe, this caption though)

I want to believe that when we stop appreciating people or seeing with the eyes of understanding who and what they are, we abuse them consciously or not. You can flip this either way, man or woman. The abuse of a gift becomes inevitable when understanding is lacking. I remember when I thought I had no value because I was mistreated and abused. Little did I know that my pearl was only cast to swines. 
If you must be valued, you must place value in the deciding whom you give yourself to. Not just that, value whom you are given to in return. Valuing each other in a relationship is enough spice to keep your romance fresh. 

The little things that my husband does is my romance. Running the bath water or caring for the kids... I realize how blessed I am to be married to such an Angel. I realize that if I spend more time aligning, I would have transformed to the woman God wants me to be. Sometimes it's hard to see when I spend time trying to prove that I have a voice and I want to have my way. This thought process is exactly what any marriage needs, to see as one. It is always easier said than done, but with prayers and the right mindset, success is undeniable.


One time, the female young adults at my Church had this intimate discussion and my Pastor Toyin broke down Ephesians 5:33 to us when thinking or speaking of RESPECT. I have marked in red the responsibility of a woman when it comes to submission. It is not subjugation and it has absolutely nothing to do with being feminist. It is a clear duty of Love and I for one remind myself of my duty daily. The truth is nothing matters to a man, especially my own husband more than his respect. Respect means a whole lot as we grow into marriage.


 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].

My husband and I are mostly opposites in persona but very alike than we know it. He is the strength to my weakness and I his. I celebrate my King today. I am awed by your love daily. 
I just hope to do more as long as I live. I see and celebrate all of his strengths and weaknesses, for choosing to be vulnerable with me and for trusting me enough to walk with me. My husband is the only man besides my late dad and my brother and my sons(LOL) that I know that can tolerate my excesses and for that I am GRATEFUL.

So, dearest woman, take a moment to appreciate that man for every moment he has loved you and tolerated ALL of YOU!


Enjoy Breathe by Bez ft Simi.


Live, Love, Laugh

Kemi Gwan.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

DEAR WOMAN, LIVE TODAY!




First I'd like to celebrate my savior, the one who welded my destiny and crowned it with a voice to all nations. I celebrate the death and the resurrection of our Lord Jesus, for without that sacrifice, I would be damned! Literally! So I declare Him my worthy King 👑 this Easter. 

So, in that Spirit, I wanted to share freely and celebrate everyone of you for reading, commenting and even reaching out during the course of last week till now. I realize that my blog last week opened me up to a new reality. A reality that I can go through the storms of life with my head up and some tears even, but still, I'm winning. Most times I am like the animal who marks its territory within close proximity to avoid preys or danger. I realize that there is no true courage until you are faced with your worst fear. 

In fact there is no next level until you have absolutely endured a test and made it through. I for one had to repent a lot these past few weeks because I realize that I hold on when God wants me to let go and I give up when He wants me to hold on.. In the face of frustration, I tend to chicken out and just give up hope. Thank God for a partner who is just the opposite of me. Beyond my weakness, I realized something special also, I have been given Grace to confront issues that arise no matter how difficult they seem. That's the courage that comes from knowing the Lord.

You might be wondering why things seem a little gloomy 😔. Your confidence zapped out and you have no idea how to continue. I assure you, it is the tiny droplets that amount to a mighty fountain. You might even say, I have a dream and I should be living that dream. The truth is, you are living that dream by walking the process. Everything, your strength, your weakness, the process, the disappointments, the highs and lows are all working together. If you ever doubt that, be reminded right now. You are not a failure.. your plans may fail, but you ought to trust that you can try multiple times if you are ready. 

I am in my process, and nothing is more important than the decision I make today, right now, this moment. The decision I make right now will affect two, five years from today. Sometimes we worry so hard about tomorrow that we forget to put in our best today. A forgiveness, mercy, kindness and love sown today will reap multiple fruits tomorrow.


I challenge you to live today, smile today, try again today.. give that marriage another try today, give your spouse another try today.. take it one step at a time today. Give that education a shot. Think it through today. Your decision today affects tomorrow. Once again, we are responsible for our choices. Respond with positivity even when everything around you points in the opposite direction.

I guess, this is testament that I am wayyyyy better than where I was last week Wednesday. I can almost taste the feeling of that depressed state. And compare to where I am sitting and typing with all smiles on my face, you would see that Life is built with a gift for each day, if we look hard enough. It might not appear great but if you are sensitive enough, you'll know it's all working together for your good.



Listen to Happy by Pharrell...



Live, Love, Laugh a lot Today!

Kemi Gwan.